Mending a Broken Heart
General ·Part of the human experience that most people go through at some stage is to experience a broken heart. It’s a horrible experience yet it also makes us more mature and wiser. It brings depth to the heart, if, once broken, it can mend in a way that allows you to celebrate and live your life more fully.
When we talk about a broken heart, we are not talking about your physical heart. That may suffer. There may be consequences for your physical heart, but usually your physical heart mends.
Your Heart
We are talking about your spiritual heart. Your heart chakra centred in the middle of your chest. Having a broken heart can feel like being punched in the chest or it can feel just like a plate being dropped on the floor, having been smashed into shards. It can leave a dull or sharp ache. It can feel like your heart will never mend. It brings a rawness and vulnerability as well as loss of confidence with yourself and the world.
Part of the pain you experience with a broken heart is the exposing of a wound in your heart every human possesses. It is the original wounding from where humans separated into men and women. Death began.
This is known as ‘the Fall’ in religious terms and it is the original samskara from which your astral body (manas-maya-kosa), the layer of consciousness that thinks and has emotions, manifests. You can treat it as a myth if you prefer but know that this myth plays out in every persons’ life in the world. I will discuss that further in another article.
Essential Energies of the Heart
When your heart breaks there are essential energies in the heart that are depleted or lost. Traditional Chinese Medicine and Ayurveda discuss these essential energies at length. It is well known in these ancient healing systems but mostly forgotten in this modern world. Mending a broken heart involves reconstituting those depleted energies.
Healing Your Broken Heart
There are several things to do. Firstly, it is important to stay present to your heart. To feel the pain but not wallow in it. That is hard, but it does get easier. Next, it’s also important to learn from what happened. It’s not about blame though that is easy to do. For now, it is important to be with yourself. Sometimes you can get caught up in the story of the heartbreak. He said. She said. He did this……. Focusing on that is not the solution for that only creates bitterness and hatred. It is a closing of your heart.
When it is appropriate, it is time to engage your meditation practice. Use that daily meditation in phases to be present to your heart. Whether you want to or not, engaging your will into your work or study or some project that will absorb you is the key that will reconstitute those essential energies of the heart. It will knit your heart back together again. The more of yourself you throw into your work, the more this will serve to mend your heart. Interestingly, people often do this unconsciously when after a heartbreak they throw themselves into their work. This is a subconscious attempt at healing their heart.
If you engage your will, remain present to your heart and yourself and address the issues that caused the heartbreak, then your heart will begin to heal. As you let go and open to the world again, the kintsugi effect comes into play. This effect is where your inner light can shine through the cracks that have appeared in your heart. It is a shining from within revealing more of your essence. Your heart will mend truly and it will be stronger and more open. Your life will have become richer for the experience, painful as it was.